He’s been a science nerd since he began walking and first pulled a field guide off the shelf for me to read. Which is why Oak and I have plans to go to a science museum today. Tomorrow is his 12th birthday and this is our day to celebrate it.

He’s the grandchild who always preferred field guides to storybooks. We’d pour over reptiles and amphibians, porpoises and minnows, tree bark and bird nests. Reading them was dull as dirt to me—shouldn’t we read The Little Red Caboose or The Gingerbread Man?—but the facts to him were more golden than these Golden Books.

I’ve learned to enjoy the random facts he reports, understand weather radars, feed his pet snake dead mice. I’m glad I get to geek out with him today at the museum.

Being in relationship with Oak means I’m interested in what he loves, and what Oak loves is science, along with soccer and hunting.  Feeling close to him means I trouble myself to get on the same page with him.

This is something of what it takes to feel close to God.  Today’s passages tell more about it.

Numbers 6-7

When an Israelite wanted to feel closer to God, he or she could take a special vow to do it. This “Nazirite vow” is explained in chapter 6, and the reason for doing it was for “consecrating yourself totally to God,” Nu 6:2 MSG.

There were three stipulations for it: not to consume anything from grapes, which included not drinking wine or other alcohol, not cutting your hair, and not going near a dead body, even if it’s your own wife or mother, Nu 6:1-8 MSG.

It was a fast from a good thing—anything made with grapes. It was a fast that made them stand out so they’re noticed—hair was long and possibly disheveled. It was a fast that kept them from participating in any public grieving—not even for a family member.

The fasting of the Nazirite vow would be obvious to anybody paying attention, but Jesus gives us a different understanding of fasting. He said to do it in secret before God, to groom yourself in your regular way so others wouldn’t notice. And he doesn’t tell us what to fast from—there are as many things to fast from as there are things to choose. Like personal prayer and giving, fasting is to be done privately, for God’s notice and reward only, Mt 6:2, 5, 16-18.

And since Jesus has come, drawing near to God is as easy as talking to him in your head. God is more accessible than the dollar store, closer than breath, more eager to help than we are to ask him for it. Now that Jesus has opened the way to God, I can’t imagine what I could do that would make him any closer than living inside me.

But maybe the thing about fasting is to feel God’s presence, to experience more of him by altering your usual routines—what you eat, what you do, how you go about daily living. Maybe it was a way then and now to feel more of your emptiness, so that your longing is increased, so that you’re more aware of his filling.

Maybe this is why Jesus doesn’t suggest fasting as a regular part of living, he assumes it. He didn’t say, “if you fast,” but “when you fast…” It’s the same sort of language he uses when he tells us to pray. He doesn’t say, “if you pray,” but “when you pray…,” Mt 6:5, 7, 16.

Fasting is a reset when my eating is out of control, when I can’t or won’t wait ’til I’m hungry for the next meal. Fasting restarts me with God as the One who gives food for my good, not for my ruin. Like everything else, you can get too much of a good thing. Fasting is a good tack-back to empty.

The priestly blessing for all God’s people–“The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace”–is placed in the verses just after the Nazirite rules, Nu 6:22-27.

Placed here, it reminds everyone that God’s blessing doesn’t depend on our doing. Nazirites weren’t more loved by God or more blessed, and neither are those who fast. His blessing is freely given to every one of his people because of his doing, not their’s, Ga 3:2-6 NIV.

The desire to deny yourself in order to feel closer to God is a good one, but it won’t make you closer. You can’t get more access to God than Jesus has already died to give you, and you can’t be any more loved than you already are. Your “doing” won’t move you one inch closer to God, Ga 5:4-6; He 8:6-13 MSG.

But fasting can open up your experience of him, renew your awareness of him, make his presence all the sweeter to you in your day-to-day living. Fasting appeals to me when I’m suffering and want more comfort than I’m feeling.

If you know God as your God, your relationship with him is paid for by Jesus’ blood. He lives inside you by his Spirit.  He’s your doting Father, who already adores you. Don’t confuse the issue, Jn 16:27; Ac 8:15, 13:52; Ep 2:13; He 10:19. 

Taking a vow and keeping it by fasting will change you, but it won’t change God or your relationship with him.  Nothing makes you more right with him than Jesus does, He 10:18 NIV.

Fast to feel closer to God, not to be closer.

Mark 13:1-13

The disciples ask Jesus when the end will come, and what will be the sign of it? The sign won’t be what you think, he tells them. It’s this: you’ll be persecuted for your faith, Mk 13:4-13.

When being a follower of Jesus lands you in court or puts you in jail, pay attention.  Step up.  This is your chance to witness for him.  And don’t worry: the Holy Spirit will speak through you, Mk 13:9-11.

Hatred will get so bad that persecution will flourish. Even family members will betray and kill each another. You will be hated because of your faith in him. What to do? Stay with it. Keep the faith. “You won’t be sorry, you’ll be saved,” Mk 13:12-13 MSG.

So don’t be surprised by hatred and persecution, and don’t let it shut you down. Keep trusting. Keep reaching out in love to others, even the ones who reject you because of Jesus.

I’ve got a friend who’s regularly belittled for her faith. She’s been told she’s crazy, condescending, self-righteous. Her persecutor accuses her of making an idol of the Bible, of worshiping with a bunch of posers at the church she goes to. Oh, and she’s not authentic or honest; she can’t be trusted. She’s a liar who’s ruined the lives of those she most loves.

Friends of her persecutor have entered in. They scold her for being over zealous and proud and neglectful, and all because she reads her Bible.

You’d think she’d give up.

How does she endure it? She entrusts herself to God, who sees and knows. She doesn’t defend; in fact, she often agrees with them, “There’s truth in what they say,” she told me. Standing on the rock, nothing can shake her. “I depend on God. My journey with him is worth the misery.”

Let the rejection of others draw you closer to God.

Psalm 50

The scene is a courtroom with God as judge. He brings a case against his people: their worship is meaningless. They bring dead animals to him as if they’re treasures, but, “Every creature in the forest is mine, the wild animals on all the mountains…Do you think I feast on venison? Or drink drafts of goats’ blood?” Ps. 50:1-13 MSG.

What God really wants is this: a “banquet of praise,” and a “feast of kept promises,” and a “call for help when you’re in trouble.” These are the things that honor him. When you take a step in living God’s way, he shows up with help to take another. No one has what it takes to travel this path without him, Ps 50:14-15 MSG.

I’m not surprised that God wants our praises or kept promises. But I’m always surprised that he wants me to depend on him. You’d think he’d want my independence, like any parent wants for his adult son or daughter—for me to make it on my own.

But not God. He wants me on my knees and asking for help. He wants me to include him in the journey. There’s no better way to say, “You are God, and I am not” than this. This is what honors him.

It takes dependence on God to keep promises, like marriage vows. It takes dependence on God to be saved from gossip, from selfishness, from addictions. These rescues give us real things to praise him for. The praiseful, promise-keeping, dependent life matters most to him.

Let your praises, kept promises, and cries for help draw you closer to God.

Prayer

God, Help me get empty, whether from food or drink or phone or activity. Let my life experiences drive me deeper into you. Thank you that my faith is in your goodness, not in mine or what others think. You are my Rock.

Proverbs 10:27-28

Want a fuller, freer, funner life? Then live in the fear of God. The wicked life is a shriveled life, with dashed hopes and dreams.

Passages from Numbers, Mark, Psalms, and Proverbs are selected for today in The Yearly Bible.